Worth Forgiving Page 6

  “Finally.” Caden’s voice is laced with impatience and anger. “I’ve been trying to reach you for an hour.”

  “I was in the shower,” I lie because it’s just easier to.

  “For an hour?”

  “I dried my hair afterwards.” My words met with silence, I decide to attempt to change the direction I know the conversation is about to go. “How is your trip?”

  “Do you even really care, Lily?” he replies curtly.

  “Please, Caden. I do care. You’ve been very good to me. I know that. It’s just, I need some space. I told you that. If it’s going to work out with us being friends and working together, we need more space between us.”

  “You didn’t need space when I was there for you every night while you were crying after you lost your Dad.” Guilt pours over me. Not just for spending time with Jax, but for leaning on Caden so hard and then pulling away as soon as I was strong enough to stand on my own.

  “I’m sorry, Caden.”

  “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”

  Taking a deep breath, I force myself to remember how good he was to me when I needed him most. Holding me while I cried. Wiping my tears. Stepping in for me at the gym when I couldn’t function. He gave me what I needed and it’s wrong of me to completely push him out. “There isn’t anyone else.” It’s not a lie, nothing happened between me and Jax, yet it feels like a lie to tell him there’s no one else.

  We talk for another ten minutes. I do my best to keep the conversation light, focusing on small talk…the weather, plans for the next day. Eventually he lets me hang up, promising to call first thing in the morning. The concept of giving me space either not registering with him or he chooses to ignore it.

  Falling into my bed, my brain mentally exhausted, I fall asleep thinking about only one man…Jackson Knight.

  ***

  Even though I ran out the door last night, literally running from Jax’s arms, I’m up extra early, anxious to get back to the gym just to see him again. I stop by the grocery store and pick up a few things, knowing his fridge is filled with only dinner leftovers and wine with no corkscrew.

  Reporters are still camped out in front of the gym when I arrive an hour before opening time. Ignoring their questions, I slip inside quickly, lock the door and pull the shade down once again. I flip on a few lights and make my way to the door in the back that leads up to the apartment.

  At the top of the dark stairs, I knock on the door gently, it dawning on me for the first time that I have no idea if he even gets up this early. Feeling disappointed when Jax doesn’t answer, I turn around, beginning to make my way back down the stairs, when I hear the lock open.

  “Lily?” Jax’s voice is throaty, full of morning grog.

  I turn, a few steps from the top of the stairs, bags raised in hands to explain along with my words. “I figured you’d need some food in there. The reporters are still outside.”

  Jax makes his way down to me, taking the bags from my hands, “Thank you, but you didn’t have to do that.”

  “I’m sorry I woke you.”

  “I’m not.” He grins. “Will you come in?”

  I hesitate, feeling conflicted. Jax assesses me before speaking, “Come in, Lily. I promise to keep three feet back at all times,” he says only half teasing.

  Feeling ridiculous for not going inside when I feel perfectly safe around him, I concede. Jax carries the bags into the dark apartment, flicking on a light as he passes. Catching a glimpse of what he’s wearing, or not wearing, I feel my face flush, yet I don’t turn away.

  He’s shirtless. I take in what I’d imagined he’d looked like, only the real thing is even better. He’s thick, well defined…muscles sculpted over flawless smooth skin. Although that isn’t what leaves me speechless, it’s the bottom half that has my mouth hanging. He’s wearing only skin hugging, solid black boxer briefs. Ones that leave little to the imagination, although my imagination immediately starts running wild.

  Jax turns back after setting the grocery bags on the counter and catches me staring. Looking down as if just realizing himself what he’s wearing, he smirks and says, “Sorry. I was sleeping. I’ll go throw on some pants.” Though his grin tells me he’s not really sorry at all.

  A minute later, Jax emerges from the small bedroom in the back, wearing the grey sweatpants I packed yesterday, still no shirt. Taking the entirety of him in, the way the sweats hang low on his hips, the deep sculpted v that leads down to a place I already know is well stocked, I think to myself that the underwear might have been easier to handle.

  Feeling flustered, I busy myself with unpacking the groceries as soon as I force my eyes off of the feast they’ve encountered. It’s not an easy task.

  “The reporters are still outside?” Jax asks, sounding somewhat deflated.

  “Yes.” I unpack a bag. “I’m sorry I woke you. I didn’t even think maybe you weren’t a morning person.”

  “I actually am a morning person.” Jax joins me in unpacking the bags. “I’m usually out for a run by six and in the office by seven.” Catching my eyes, he smiles and continues, “Just had some trouble falling asleep last night.”

  “Probably the strange place.”

  Jax shakes his head, slowly. “That’s not what it was.” There’s no need for him to spell it out, we both know what kept the sandman away last night. For both of us.

  “Dark chocolate syrup?” he questions with one eyebrow arched.

  “You don’t like dark chocolate?”

  “I love it. You?”

  “It’s my weakness.”

  We unpack the rest of the groceries - eggs, cheese, bread, milk, peanuts, turkey, protein shake mix. Jax reaches into the bag for the last item and smiles as he lifts out the corkscrew.

  “Now you’ll have to come back tonight to have that glass of wine,” he says with a boyish grin and sparkle in his eyes that I can’t help but smile back at.

  We put away the few things I’ve purchased in the bare kitchen cabinets and I tell him I better get downstairs to work.

  Heading to the door, I ask, “You training today?”

  “Ten with Marco.”

  “I’ll see you later then.”

  Jax nods.

  I open the door and Jax’s voice stops me. “Lily?”

  I turn back.

  “About last night…,” he says, his voice drifting off.

  “It’s fine. Nothing happened.”

  “No. But I wanted something to,” he admits with a coy smile.

  “Jax, I…”

  He interrupts, “You don’t have to explain. I just wanted to apologize. Let me make it up to you with dinner?”

  Fighting a smile, I warn, “Jax.”

  “Lily,” he counters just as sternly as my warning, maybe more so. “Come on, friends can have dinner, right?”

  “I suppose, but…”

  “Let’s start over.” Jax walks to me, extending his hand. “Hi, I’m Jax Knight.”

  I can’t help but smile, even though he’s doing his best attempt at serious. “Lily St. Claire.” I meet his extended hand with my own.

  His eyes squint ever so slightly as they gleam. “Listen, friend.” He draws out the word friend. “I’m new in town, and I’m sort of holed up in this place. Would you like to have a purely platonic dinner?”

  Narrowing my eyes to gauge his sincerity, I say, my tone making it clear I’m not convinced, “Purely platonic, huh?”

  “Absolutely.” He nods his head.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?” His questioning tone reveals I was easier to convince than he thought.

  “I guess we’re having turkey sandwiches?” I tease.

  “Nope.”

  “Eggs?”

  “Nope.”

  “You don’t have much else.”

  “I’ll take care of everything.”

  Walking through the doorway, a smile already on my face, Jax stops me again. “Lily St. Claire.”

  “Yes.”
I have no idea why, but the sound of my name rolling off his tongue does something to me. My smile broadens.

  “Your name is beautiful. It fits you.”

  Shaking my head with a laugh, I walk out, not turning back when I say, “See you later, friend.”

  ***

  The morning goes by so smoothly, I actually find myself whistling as I unpack the supplies that were just delivered. Unsure if it’s the lack of Caden or the frequent smiles I get from Jax when our glances catch, but I feel more relaxed than I have in months. The day only gets better when Reed walks in unexpectedly. He kisses my forehead and wraps a crimson red scarf around my neck.

  “Don’t you look gorgeous today,” he says with an accent of some sort, although I have no idea what it’s supposed to be. Bad Australian, perhaps?

  “Thought you liked me with my hair back and no makeup?” I grin at my best friend, throwing his own words back in his face.

  “I only say that when we’re late and I want you to hurry up and get ready.” He smirks, reaching forward and turning my sketch book to see what I’m working on.

  Not looking up, Reed traces the pencil outline of my drawing with his finger, the ridges of the carved faceless torso, beginning to take form. “Is Mr. Panty Dropper here today?”

  Pretending I have no idea who he’s talking about, I furrow my brow. Mentioning I look nice followed by asking if Jax is around…am I really that obvious? I hadn’t given it any thought this morning, but I did try on a few outfits and blow out my hair instead of my usual ponytail and whatever’s clean wardrobe decision. I look over at Jax and Reed traces my line of sight. Feeling four eyes staring at him, he looks up and smiles at us, lifting his chin at Reed in a guy hello.

  We both stare for a little too long, neither of us wanting to pull our eyes away from the sweaty man on the other side of the room. His white shirt clings to his pectoral muscles with every upward thrust on the chin up bar, a glimpse of tan skin revealing itself on each draw down. Both of us sigh at the same time.

  Forcing my attention away from the vision of perfection, I bring my focus back to Reed. “So what brings you down here? You slumming?” Though you’d never know it by his attitude, Reed is probably the wealthiest person I’ve ever met. Well, maybe not, after seeing the hotel suite that Jax was checked into. His father is the CEO for one of the largest utility companies in the United States. And also an opinionated, card carrying, staunch conservative. Money driven and resistant to change, he’s the antithesis of everything Reed is.

  “Ummm…we’re supposed to go to lunch, remember? And what’s with all the people camped out outside?”

  “Long story.”

  “Give me the short version.”

  “They’re trying to get to Jax.”

  “Why?” Reed leans his elbows on the front desk, propping his head up on his hands, readying himself for some juicy gossip. The man is a fiend when it comes to gossip. He doesn’t even need to know the person to be interested in someone else’s dirty laundry.

  “Father’s a senator. Cheated. Found out he has a brother. Brother is the current Middleweight MMA Champion. Father is running for re-election anyway. They followed him here from D.C.”

  “Get. Out.” Reed says each word staccato, total drama queen rearing its prissy head.

  Looking back to Jax, Reed sighs again loudly. “Rich boy. Daddy issues? Are you sure he’s not gay. He’d be perfect for me.”

  “He’s definitely not gay.” My tone gives away more than I intended.

  Reed’s eyes go wide as saucers and his mouth hangs open a minute before he speaks. “You didn’t?” He accuses with a smile so wide it leaves no room for doubt that he’d be thrilled if I did.

  “No. I didn’t.”

  “But you wanted to.”

  “I didn’t say that either.”

  “So what are you saying?”

  “I’m not saying anything! You’re putting words in my mouth.”

  Looking over at Jax again, Reed smiles and waves enthusiastically. “That man is sin on a stick.” He sighs dramatically.

  Glancing in Jax’s direction, he smiles at us again. It’s painfully obvious that we’re talking about him, but Reed’s right, and it’s hard to tear my eyes away even when I should. It’s my turn to sigh loudly. “I can’t argue with you there.”

  “He seems like a nice guy too.”

  “He is.”

  Reed folds his arms over his chest as he speaks to me in a patronizing tone, “So he’s gorgeous, nice, I’m guessing rich and smart too with daddy being a Senator, I can see why you’d keep away.” He wrinkles his nose like he just smelled something foul, “Total loser. You’re much better off with Caden.” He lifts his hand melodramatically and begins ticking off comparable traits with his fingers. “Let’s see, Caden’s not gorgeous, not nice, not rich, and not too smart. Of course you’d pick Caden, and pass on Jax.”

  “It’s complicated and you know it.”

  “Doesn’t have to be.”

  Frustrated, I know there is no winning this conversation, so I change the subject, “I’m sorry…I completely forgot about lunch. I can’t leave, there’s no one here to cover for me. Joe’s still traveling.”

  Reed shrugs, he’s the most flexible person I know. “So we’ll order in.” It really is pretty amazing how malleable he is considering he’s the product of two of the most inflexible people in the word. He pulls his cell from his pocket and orders sushi, without needing to ask what I want.

  I pull the scarf he draped around my neck and examine it closer. Chanel. I squint, knowing how the generous man works. “The scarf is beautiful.” I pause, fingering it between my hands. “Tell me about the guy you met.”

  “What guy?” Reed responds in a guilty voice that confirms my suspicion.

  “Barneys and Bergdorf when you meet a new guy. Swap meets and second hand shops when you break up.”

  “I do n…,” Reed trails off, his brain going through a mental rolodex of the timing of his last few shopping trips. He goes to finish his sentence twice, each time thinking better of it. Eventually he gives in, rolling his eyes, but his eyes light up as he speaks. “He’s my TA.”

  Reed’s working toward his degree in Art History. We decided two years ago we would go back to school together part time to finish the degrees we had started. I’m a business major with a minor in Art. He’s an Art major with a minor in business. We always find a way to take a class together each semester. “Isn’t that against the rules?”

  “I hope so. That’ll make it hotter.” Grinning at the thought of forbidden lust, Reed turns as the bells sound on the door. Fleeting are the thoughts of his TA, as he’s quickly distracted by a handsome delivery boy who walks in. He’s waif thin and looks like he just woke up from a three day binge, although he is cute if you look past the protruding cheekbones.

  “Delivery for Mr. Knight?”

  Not taking his eyes off the poor delivery boy, Reed waves in my direction. “Go get whatshisname.”

  “Whatshisname?” So fickle. It didn’t take long for him to forget he was drooling over Jax not five minutes ago and about to spill the details of his crush on his TA.

  Chin ups done, Jax is hitting the speedball as I make my way to the back of the gym. His arms bulge with each punch and it pains me to have to interrupt him and spoil the view. “You have a delivery here.”

  “Thanks.” He grabs a towel and wipes his head and tucks it into the waist of his shorts, making them hang even lower. A scant amount of bare skin shows as he reaches up and runs his fingers through his messy, yet sexy, hair. My eyes linger for a second too long, Jax catches it and grins.

  Reed is busy chatting up the waif boy, so Jax and I hang back a few steps and wait. He leans in close to me and whispers so only I can hear him, “You smell incredible.”

  I smile, leaning back a little so my head is closer to his, but I keep my face forward as I respond, “You just think that because you probably smell from being all sweaty.”

 
; Jax turns, shifting his body to face me, “I bet you smell good even when you’re sweaty.”

  Combatting the looming feeling of fluster creeping up, I attempt to lighten the feeling being so close to this man brings, “Think we should interrupt the lovebirds so you can get your delivery?”

  Reed finally acknowledges we’re waiting and arches his eyebrows at me as Jax steps forward to sign for the delivery.

  “I’ll get the rest of the bags,” the delivery boy says in the direction of Jax, but never takes his eyes off of Reed.

  “I’ll help you.” Reed follows the barely legal looking boy-man out the door.

  Jax sets the bags down on the reception desk, his attention caught by my sketch pad. Picking it up, he studies the faceless form taking shape in my drawing. “Anyone I know?” He asks knowingly, his eyes gleaming with delight.

  “No,” I lie, but the pink on my cheeks gives me away easily.

  Luckily Reed comes back, forcing Jax’s focus back to the task at hand. Jax takes the bag handoff from Reed.

  “Can I get a rain check for lunch?” Sheepishly, Reed asks with a dirty grin just below the surface.

  I roll my eyes, but he knows I’m not upset. He kisses me on the cheek and talks over my head to Jax. “You like Dragon rolls?

  “Sure.”

  “Great. Lunch will be here in twenty minutes.” He tosses a fifty down on the reception counter. “Enjoy you two.” Kissing me on the forehead and practically running to the door, Reed leaves me no chance to argue.

  ***

  Twenty minutes later, a freshly showered Jax comes back down just as I’m setting out our lunch. As usual, Reed ordered enough food for a family of five, even though it was to only be the two of us.

  “I can’t leave the front desk, hope you don’t mind.” I motion to the chair I’ve pulled up next to me behind the counter.

  “Works for me.” Jax smiles as he walks behind the tall front counter, he brushes against my back ever so slightly, his hand lingering just a second too long on my lower back as he squeezes past me. My entire body becomes acutely aware of the close proximity, with tension gripping at my knees. He waits for me to sit, pushing in my chair before taking his own seat.