Worth Forgiving Read online

  Not having to be hounded by reporters every time I make a move is tempting. And the thought of being closer to Lily is definitely appealing. “If you don’t mind me hanging around a lot more, that would be great, actually.”

  Chapter 8

  Lily

  It seemed like a great idea in the moment, but as I walk up the narrow staircase to the apartment above the gym, I’m wondering if maybe it was a mistake to invite Jax to stay at the gym. Caden will likely have a shit fit and being around Jax is a not too subtle reminder of the reasons I broke things off with Caden to begin with.

  Jax stirs something inside of me. Something that Caden doesn’t anymore. Or maybe he never did. There’s definitely something to be said about not getting involved with anyone soon after the loss of a loved one. But, as usual, I didn’t listen to anyone. Desperate for something that would ease the pain from the sudden loss of my father, Caden was there to fill a void. I was shattered and he jumped to pick up the pieces. I let him, not looking ahead to the consequences of having to extricate lingering personal conflict from my business when we broke up. I can’t just shut the door and walk away from his continued possessive behavior. I’ve tried politely, but with him working and training at the gym, as well as being Joe’s nephew, every time I shut the door, he opens it with the damn key. Then there’s my own guilt, allowing him to help me through such a deeply difficult time, only to dump him when I’m able to stand on my own again. I never meant to hurt him. I can’t go back, but I can learn from my mistakes.

  Slipping the key into the lock, I attempt to turn it, but it sticks. Jiggling it doesn’t even make it budge.

  “Here, let me,” Jax’s voice is low, he’s standing a step or two below me. But he makes his way up the final steps to just shy of pressing against me as his arms reach around, one hand with the keys, the other a firm grip on the knob, caging me between the door and his warm body. The little hairs on the back of my neck stand up, taking notice of the heavenly body standing so near. Definitely not a good idea.

  Too quickly, the lock gives and the door opens, forcing me to step inside, although I would have preferred to spend a little more time tightly pressed against the door with Jax so close behind me.

  I flip the switch on the lights and the dark room comes into focus. It’s simple, but neat and clean. “It’s not much, but you won’t be bothered coming in and out at least.”

  Jax looks around and smiles warmly. “It’s perfect.”

  “Do you want me to go get some of your stuff from your hotel?”

  Jax looks conflicted, almost as if he wants me to, but doesn’t want to ask.

  “I don’t mind. Really.” I encourage.

  His gaze slowly searches my face, “Okay, but you have to let me buy you dinner.”

  “I have to, huh?” I tease.

  “Yep, or I won’t let you do any more nice things for me.”

  “And that would be tragic.” Placing my hands over my heart, I feign disappointment.

  “Wiseass,” Jax rebuts, smiling.

  “You better be nice, Jackson, or I’ll show the reporters the way up.”

  “Jackson, huh? I thought it was Jax, since we’re friends and all.”

  “Jackson just seems to slip out when I need to put you in your place.”

  Jax laughs. A deep, real, natural laugh, the kind you can’t fake. The sound makes me smile.

  “I’ll call my driver and have him pick you up and take you to my hotel. He can pick us up some dinner from the restaurant while you’re grabbing my things.”

  “Your driver? I thought you weren’t important?”

  Jax opens his wallet and slips a sleek black hotel key card out and hands it to me. “I’m not. Doesn’t mean I always need to walk.” He grins.

  I roll my eyes.

  ***

  The unmarked black town car pulls up to the hotel and the driver turns to hand me a business card. Through a thick Russian accent, he introduces himself as Alex and says, “Mr. Knight requested I pick up dinner while you’re inside. Please call when you’re ready and I’ll be outside waiting.”

  Stepping out of the car, I look up at the beautiful architectural feat. I’ve passed the San Marzo hotel before, and thought about drawing it, but never actually gone inside. As I approach the impressive double doors, a uniformed doorman opens the door and tips his hat with a nod. “Good evening.”

  Inside, the grandeur of the hotel takes my breath away. Jax is lucky I don’t have my sketch pad with me, or he’d be eating his dinner for breakfast cold, wearing the same clothes as he has on now.

  After a few starry eyed minutes, I force myself to stop ogling the lobby. I enter the elevator and insert the key as Jax instructed, the car begins moving without my even pressing any buttons. A long, but rapid, climb takes me to the top of the building and then the elevator doors open. Although they don’t open to a hallway as I would have expected. Instead, they open directly to the penthouse. A beautiful, elegant, completely intimidating suite with a living room that’s larger than my entire apartment.

  Grateful that I’m alone, it gives me a few minutes to nose around, checking out the place in its entirety. Finding closets large enough to contain my wardrobe makes me wonder, do people live here or come for a few nights? The first bathroom I enter gleams in floor to ceiling white marble. There’s a tub large enough to hold six and a separate shower with at least half a dozen shower heads. Two smaller bathrooms are equally as lush, one off the living room and the other off the second bedroom. Really, who needs three bathrooms when you’re alone in a hotel?

  The door to the master bedroom is open, the oversized four poster bed adorned with sumptuous deep burgundy and gold colored fabric. Two chocolates wrapped in gold foil rest lovingly in the middle of the pile of fluffy pillows. The only sign anyone has even visited the insanely luxurious suite is in the closet, where Jax told me I would find his bag and some clothes. Feeling slightly guilty for going through his things, although not enough to stop me, I examine the labels as I fold each garment into his bag. Expensive. Not flashy, but the feel of the fabric and the names of the designers tell me they likely cost a small fortune.

  I pack enough clothes for a few days, and grab the toiletries he has in the bathroom, rolling the full suitcase back to the elevator doors. I look around as I wait for the elevator to rise, a small round table with a wooden tray catches my eye. A few folded up papers and some keys sit, likely the contents of Jax’s pocket at one time. Curiosity gets the best of me as I wait, and I find myself unfolding a newspaper article before I can think better of my snooping. Middleweight Champion, Vince “The Invincible” Stone, confirms rumors he is the lovechild of Senator Preston Knight. The photo shows a handsome man pushing a photographer with one hand, his other arm wrapped protectively around a pretty auburn haired woman as they attempt to walk past throngs of media staked out in front of a gym. The elevator doors open. And then close after a few minutes, my nose still buried in the last of the two page article.

  The date of the article catches my eye. He’s been carrying it around for a while. Not long after I lost my father, so did Jax. It may not have been a physical loss, as mine was, but if he admired his father a fraction of how much I did mine, it must have been a devastating loss all the same.

  Carefully, I fold the newspaper back up into the little square it was when I found it, moving on to examine the business cards held in a beautiful monogrammed silver clip, JPK. I run my fingers over the unusual cards, they’re not paper, instead some sort of silver metal, paper thin, but strong. Raised engraved lettering displays a simple three line message. Knight International Investments. Jackson P. Knight. President. Only one simple phone number on the card, rather than the usual six lines of email, fax, and other means of communication listed. The card matches the man. Intriguing, strong, edgy, yet with a regal air…and pretty damn sexy too.

  ***

  Jax unloads half a dozen takeout containers from the bag. Unless he’s planning on feeding the repo
rters, there is definitely going to be a ton of leftovers. He fills two plates with a little from each container and sets them down on the small kitchen table. “I had Alex pick up a bottle of red to go with dinner, I hope you like it.” He pulls a bottle out of the bag and begins to open drawers in search of a corkscrew.

  “Just water for me, thank you.”

  “Looks like it will be just water for both of us, who doesn’t have a corkscrew?”

  “Joe’s son is more of a beer type guy.”

  Filling two wine glasses with water, Jax sets them on the table and looks up at me. “What makes a guy a beer type guy?” He asks with a playful, crooked grin. He pulls out a chair and stands behind it, waiting for me to sit, before he takes his own seat across from me.

  I think for a minute. It’s difficult to put a “type” of guy into words, you just know it when you come across him. “The type that doesn’t pull out my chair at the table,” I offer with a smirk.

  Jax chuckles at my definition and responds, “I didn’t realize manners matched with beverage preference.”

  “I think it might, Mr. Knight.”

  One eye arches in surprise, questioning, waiting for more.

  “The doorman, the driver, the penthouse suite…just feels more like Mr. Knight than Jax.”

  He nods, but stays silent.

  “Why is it I feel like I’m missing a few pieces to the puzzle?” There’s a shift in him when I ask the question. He looks at me, searching, deliberating over his response. But too much thinking hinders an unfettered response, so I push a bit.

  “Well…” I wait expectedly.

  Drawing a deep breath in, Jax begins, “My father is a Senator. You’ve probably seen his face on TV…in the papers. Preston Knight. He’s been in the news lately. A lot. For some pretty crappy stuff he did. His story made headlines six months ago when it came out he had an illegitimate son. My half-brother is Vince Stone, reigning MMA Middleweight Champ. The story broke right after Vince won the title. Took my family by surprise. Things had just started to settle down finally after six months. Then my father decides to announce he is running for re-election the same day it’s announced Vince is hosting the MMA Open and the media circus started right back up again. And somehow that makes me newsworthy by association.”

  I nod, not knowing exactly what to say. “So you thought you’d get some peace here in New York while you checked out the gym and the press found you?”

  Jax feigns a conciliatory smile. “I live in D.C., I changed hotels twice there, thought maybe if I came to New York for a while, I could get away from the circus.”

  “Your plan seems to be working well,” I quip, full of teasing sarcasm, before biting into a ravioli from my plate.

  Both Jax’s eyebrows shoot up, surprised at my comment, but he looks amused too. “Watch it, or I won’t let you do me any more favors, you keep being a smartass like that.”

  “Oh my god.” I close my eyes to savor the taste on my tongue, it’s just that good. “This is the best thing I’ve ever eaten, what’s in them?”

  Jax smiles knowingly. “Brown butter lobster ravioli.”

  “God, if I was a dog, I’d be wagging my tail. They’re heavenly.”

  He laughs. “It’s the only reason I stay at that hotel when I come into town.”

  Swallowing another forkful of the sinfully delicious pasta I’ve shoved into my mouth, I tease, “So it’s not for the marble floors and three bathrooms?”

  Jax arches one eyebrow, “Snooped around while you were there, I see.”

  I feel the pink color flush on my face. Sheepishly, I respond, “Sorry. I’ve never seen anything like it, I couldn’t help myself.”

  “Don’t worry about it, I’m just teasing.”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Anything you want.”

  “Really?”

  “Sure. I didn’t say I was going to answer, but you can definitely ask me anything you want,” he chuckles.

  I ball up my napkin and throw it across the table, hitting him in the nose.

  “Very mature.” Jax smiles, lifting his tall glass of water, he dips his fingers into it, and flicks them at me. Water drops hit my cheeks, nose, and forehead.

  Eyes wide, surprised by his action, I squint, staring at him for a few seconds. He holds my gaze, his face showing he’s feeling sure of himself. Never breaking eye contact, I reach across the table and fork his ravioli onto my utensil, quickly shoving the whole thing into my mouth.

  Shaking his head, he reaches over to my plate and steals one of my two meatballs, shoving the entire large globe into his mouth.

  When he finishes chewing, he reaches over to my plate, cutting the other meatball in half and bringing it to his lips. “So what question did you want to ask me?” He grins, before taking the half meatball into his mouth.

  Following his lead, I reach over to Jax’s plate, cut his meatball in half and bring it almost all the way to my lips before speaking. “Why do you need such a huge hotel suite, if you’re just one person?” I eat the half meatball, waiting for his answer. God, it’s delicious too.

  Jax reaches over to my side of the table, his fingers wrapping around my water glass, he brings it to his mouth and downs almost half the glass, returning it to my side of the table. He shrugs, “I have absolutely no idea.”

  His honest answer takes me by surprise. “Seems like a waste,” I declare.

  He smiles and then concedes, “It is a bit excessive, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, Mr. Knight. It is.” I chide playfully.

  Jax tells me a little bit more about his father, but most of it I knew from my snooping of the newspaper article in his suite. Plates bare, we finish dinner eating each other’s meal without ever discussing our actions verbally, but the smiles exchanged speak volumes.

  After dinner, we clean up together, storing all the leftovers in the refrigerator. “Thank you for dinner.”

  “Thank you for sharing yours with me,” Jax smirks, leaning casually against the counter, arms folded across his chest. We’re both quiet for a moment. There’s a shift in the air, a tension I breathe in that spreads warmth throughout my body. I feel his eyes on me, watching me intently.

  “I should go.”

  One of Jax’s arms reaches out to me and hooks around my neck. “Come here.”

  Lips parted, I take a deep breath in as he pulls me closer to him. His face six inches from mine, he stops. Looking into his pale blue eyes, I get lost for a minute. The hand not around my neck, reaches up and his thumb rubs the side of my mouth.

  “Sauce,” he whispers through his grin.

  “Ummm…thanks.” He releases his grip around my neck, but his hand lazily slides down my spine where the other arm joins, locking around my waist, keeping me close. I know I should step away, but electricity tingles all over my skin. And the way he looks at me, so intense and focused, my eyes lock on to his and everything else blurs in the background.

  “You really are beautiful,” Jax studies my face as he speaks. His voice is low and raspy, there’s a rawness that does something to me. The combination of the seductive sound and the close proximity turns my breath ragged.

  My heart pounding in my chest, I stare up at him, forgetting everything else for a moment in time. His grip around my waist tightens. Slowly he pulls me to him, closing the small distance between us, until our bodies are finally flush. His eyes never leave mine, forcing my head to tilt up to keep our gaze as our bodies draw closer. Feeling the warmth of his hard chest pressed against my soft, my eyes drift closed. It feels so good, so right, so natural.

  Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes. Jax’s gaze, roaming my face, meets mine again. And holds. Our lips are so close, if either of us were to move the slightest bit, we’d connect. Wetting his lips, Jax’s eyes drop to my mouth and my heart rate careens out of control with nerves and excitement all rolled into a big ball of anticipation. Slowly, they lift back to find mine, only now they’re hooded, changing from sweet and adori
ng to desire and need. Full of want and raw passion. The look sends my libido into overdrive.

  “Your body feels so right connected to mine,” Jax whispers, his words coming out labored, like it’s difficult for him to speak too.

  Swallowing hard, I avert my eyes, knowing he’s watching me, waiting for me to give him something. Anything. But even though I feel his words ringing true, his body feels so right connected to mine, something inside of me won’t let me give in to what I’m feeling. What I know we both feel. “I should go,” I say again avoiding his eyes.

  We’re both quiet for a minute, my mind racing as fast as my heart. “Lily?” One hand locking me in place lifts to my chin, gently forcing my gaze to meet his. I watch as he studies my face, slowly taking in each and every inch. Finally, as our eyes meet again, he whispers hoarsely, “Don’t leave yet.”

  Unable to say no to his eyes, knowing they could easily change my mind, I look away, speaking with a low voice, “I have to. I, I…need to go.” Taking two steps back from his hold, Jax releases me without struggle.

  As much as I want to stay, I haven’t even fixed the mess I’ve gotten myself into with Caden yet. I know it’s a bad idea to get involved with anyone connected to my business again. Especially someone so important to Joe right now.

  Scurrying to collect my bag, I make my way to the door and smile back halfheartedly as I reach for the handle. “Good night, Jax.”

  Still leaning against the counter, I see a look of confusion as I hurry out the door, practically sprinting down the steps.

  Chapter 9

  Lily

  My phone rings for the fifth time as I walk into my apartment, only this time I don’t hit REJECT. Feeling guilty, even though I haven’t done anything wrong, I answer. “Hello.”