Worth Forgiving Read online

  Freshly showered after his workout, I’m grateful Caden is already gone when Mr. Beautiful stops at the front desk on his way out. His hair damp and a towel around his neck, he’s certainly a feast for the eyes. Although his body looks sufficiently trained, something about him doesn’t seem to fit with the guys that usually train at Ralley’s. He’s different, and it’s not just that he’s devoid of tattoos on his arms and scars on his face. Something in the way he speaks and carries himself sets him apart from the normal fighters I see.

  “So, I have to admit, I thought you would be different than you are based on our emails over the last few months.” I say to Jackson, trying to ignore the effect that seeing his damp, freshly exercised body has on me. We’ve emailed back and forth a lot over the last few months. I provided reports he requested and answered questions about Ralley’s to help him put together the offering to attract investors. But our communications have been strictly professional. He was all business, nothing like the playful demeanor of the man before me.

  “What did you think I would be like?” he asks, setting his bag on the floor.

  “I don’t know. Just different. Older I guess.” I smile. “You’re much friendlier in person.”

  “So my emails are old and unfriendly?” he teases.

  “I didn’t say that. They just come off more formal. That’s probably why I thought you were older.”

  “Well I hope you like the real thing better than what you imagined.”

  I laugh. “Yes, I do.”

  “Good. Anything else you’ve imagined about me that I can work on beating your expectation of?”

  I flush. I’ve imagined more than I care to share, but I don’t want to let on that he’s been infiltrating my thoughts since I laid eyes on him yesterday. “Are you always such a flirt?” I tilt my head and ask coyly.

  “This isn’t flirting,” he responds with a sexy grin.

  “It’s not? Then what would you call it?”

  His eyes glimmer. “Foreplay.”

  I roll my eyes and laugh off the comment as playful. Although the heat in his eyes makes me think he really isn’t kidding. It makes my stomach flutter and my palms sweaty. Growing up surrounded by alpha males who speak their minds, it generally takes a lot for me to embarrass. Yet something about the way he looks at me when he speaks makes me feel like a teenage girl.

  I try to force our conversation back to the gym. I’ve mixed business with pleasure enough lately, learning my lesson the hard way. “Well, how do you like our gym, Jackson?” I ask, trying hard to keep my eyes trained on his and not ogle the plethora of beauty south of his magnetic blue eyes. He’s cocky enough, I don’t need to give him anymore ammunition.

  “I think I’m going to like it here.” His wry grin speaks volumes and it leaves me feeling like his statement has little to do with his actual training.

  “People call me Jax, by the way.”

  “Not Jackson?”

  “My friends call me Jax.”

  “So we’re going to be friends then?” I tease.

  “I hope so.” His smile widens.

  “I noticed you didn’t tell Caden to call you Jax yesterday.”

  “Something tells me Caden and I aren’t going to be friends.” My new friend arches an eyebrow and grins a devilish grin. He slings his bag diagonally across his shoulder. “I have to run for a video conference call. You here tomorrow?”

  “I’m here almost every day.”

  “See you tomorrow then, Lily.” Jax smiles and walks out the door.

  Chapter 3

  Jax

  My body aches after a good workout, but it’s a feeling I relish. No pain, no gain. The old mantra has a lot of truth to it. High on adrenaline, it’s the first time in more than six months that I feel like I’m going the right direction. Hell, it’s the first time, in a very long time, I feel like I have any direction. And damn if Lily isn’t the icing on the cake to a deal I was already thinking was going to work out perfectly for me.

  If I had any doubts I was making the right choice buying these gyms, getting a look at her little body and the way her nipples perked up when we touched just sealed the deal. You just never know what might throw a buyer over the edge when they’re teetering on a multi-million dollar purchase. I smile to myself wondering how many deals may actually have been sealed by a sexy woman.

  Joe was adamant that the only type of investor he was looking for was a silent partner. I’d prefer a hand in managing the business right from the beginning, but the deal was too good for me to pass up, even without the opportunity to operate the company. But I figured once I formed a relationship with my new partner, I could open the door to taking on a less silent role. Now my mind is stuck thinking of a different type of role I’d like to take with Lily.

  Women have been on the back burner in my private life lately. Desire sort of goes out the window when your life implodes all around you. The one bright spot I’ve been looking forward to has been closing the deal on Ralley’s Gyms. The fact that my prospective partner is smokin hot is a total damn bonus.

  Still unable to shake the energy as night falls, I go for a run. Weaving in and out of pedestrians isn’t something I’m a stranger to, being from D.C., but the volume is vastly different in New York. Throngs of people still clutter the streets even though it’s after nine. Oddly, I don’t find it annoying. Instead I make it a challenge to maneuver through the chaos without breaking a stride.

  Back in my ridiculously oversized hotel suite, I shower and slip into bed feeling good – something I haven’t felt in a long time. Lily’s smile keeps me company as I drift off to sleep, a perfect combination of exhilarated and exhausted.

  ***

  Opening the door to the gym, I’m greeted with a smile by Lily. Now that’s a face I could get used to seeing every day. “Morning,” I smile back.

  “Good morning, Jax.” Jax, not Jackson or Mr. Knight. I told her my friends call me Jax, yet I can’t help but think how much I’d like to hear Mr. Knight roll off her tongue. Perhaps in a breathless throaty voice between pants.

  Stepping up to the desk she sits behind, I peer over at what she’s working on. She has her sketchpad and a narrow charcoal pencil, working on the start of something with fluid curved lines, but I can’t tell what the subject is yet.

  “So when do you want to do it?”

  Lily’s face pinks up. I hadn’t thought about the multiple ways my question could be taken, but I like the way she’s thinking.

  She coughs to clear her throat and takes a sip from a bottle of water before speaking. “Do what?”

  “Draw me.”

  “Oh.”

  “What did you think I was talking about?” I arch an eyebrow suggestively and the pink in her face darkens to a crimson shade of red.

  “Oh…I…it’s okay, you don’t have to. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “I don’t mind.” I won’t tell her I’ve spent half my life posing for pictures. The fewer people that know the details of my life here, the better.

  “Well…I…”

  The door behind me opens, interrupting us. I know who it is without turning, just from the look on Lily’s face.

  “Can I help you with something?” Shoulders back, Caden steps between me and where Lily’s sitting, looking like he’s ten seconds away from exploding. This guy must have radar, he seems to show every time I come within ten feet of Lily.

  “Nope. All good.” I stand my position, completely aware he is trying to intimidate me and is not so subtly telling me to get lost.

  “Lily’s busy. She’s trying to work here.” Caden folds his arms over his chest.

  “Caden,” Lily warns. “I’m fine here. Why don’t you go do whatever it is you came in to do.”

  “This guy doesn’t seem to understand you’re trying to work.”

  “Then why don’t you let her work. We were just scheduling something.” Jackson suggests sternly, but Caden ignores what both of us are telling him.

&nb
sp; “Whatever you need, you can schedule it with me.” Caden walks around the counter.

  “I need a sparring partner for tomorrow,” I lie. Well, I do need a partner, but that’s not what I was trying to schedule.

  A twisted smile on his face, I know what the asshole’s answer is going to be before he opens his mouth. “It would be my pleasure.”

  Chapter 4

  Lily

  I met Reed Baxter the first day of middle school in art class. Even at thirteen he knew exactly who he was. The boy already had style back then. He didn’t care that he looked different. He wanted to look different, aspired to be truly who he was. I admired him instantly.

  At sixteen, when my first boyfriend broke up with me to go out with Candy Lattington because I wouldn’t let him get to third base, I cried on Reed’s shoulder. He held me and told me Candy was a slut. At nineteen when I drank too much liquor and could barely walk, Reed came and got me at the bar. He held my hair back while I threw up and then brought me home with him and tucked me into his bed. At twenty-four when my father died at only fifty-eight years old after a massive heart attack, he held my hand as we made funeral arrangements and spooned me for two days, holding me until the last sob racked through me. Reed Baxter is the best friend I’ve ever had.

  “Love the blue dress. It brings out the color of your eyes.” He’s so good for my self esteem.

  “Thank you.” I reach up and kiss his cheek. “Caden bought it for me.” I smirk, knowing what his response will be.

  Reed crinkles his nose. “Maybe the dress isn’t that nice after all,” he teases. These days, I’m starting to wonder if I should’ve listened to Reed’s opinion on Caden a year ago.

  Reed surveys the gym, it’s filled with its usual assortment of muscular men in various shapes and sizes. “Tell me again why I don’t come pick you up from work every day?” He sighs, looking around like a hungry lumberjack at a smorgasbord.

  “Because you hate fighting.” I smile, pointing out the bigger obstacle, “And Caden.”

  “Speak of the devil,” Reed mumbles. I turn to see Caden approaching.

  “Reed.” He nods his head curtly in the general direction of Reed. The two men have a severe dislike for each other. But Caden has always known Reed is a deal breaker, so he keeps his distance and minds his manners. Well, sort of.

  “Caden.” Reed mimics the head nod and curt gesture, but Caden doesn’t even notice he’s being mocked.

  “Call me when you get in tonight,” Caden orders dryly.

  “It’s probably going to be late.”

  “Doesn’t matter.” Caden nods to Reed again and attempts to kiss me on the lips before walking out the door. I turn just in time and he gets the corner of my mouth. Luckily Caden misses the salute that Reed offers to his back.

  “Didn’t you dump him? Why is he kissing you still?” Reed questions with sincerity.

  Pensively, I bite my bottom lip, “He’s not exactly accepting of our break up.”

  “What does that mean? He doesn’t get a choice to accept it or not. You dump him. He’s dumped. It’s pretty simple actually.”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “We have all night. I can’t wait to hear this one.”

  Before he begins the lecture I’m positive is about to come, I grab my purse and take off toward the back of the gym, “Going to run to the ladies room to freshen up. You can stand around and take in the sites.”

  A few minutes later, I round the corner from the ladies room and find Reed leaning casually against the front counter, ankles crossed, elbows supporting his weight. A crooked smile and sparkly eyes, I’d know that look anywhere. He’s crushing on someone. I just hope it isn’t one of the muscle head gym rats who’ll get physical when he realizes another guy’s hitting on him.

  Another couple of steps and the object of Reed’s attention comes into my line of vision. I can’t help but smile, sometimes we really do have similar taste.

  “Hey, Jax. I thought I saw you leave earlier,” I say, at first not noticing he’s no longer dressed in gym clothes. He’s wearing dark jeans, a navy shirt that accentuates the light color of his eyes and a darker navy lightweight pea coat. Simple. Understated. Urbane and absolute perfection. No wonder he seems to have caught Reed’s attention.

  “I forgot something. I just stopped back to see if it was still here.”

  “Oh. What did you forget? We have a lost and found.” I walk behind the reception counter, ready to grab the box we collect all the lost ear buds and lifting gloves in.

  Jax looks to Reed, some unspoken man language transpires and Reed holds his hands up. “I play for the other team, dude.” Reed shrugs casually, Jax chuckles.

  “I was going to see if I could take you up on that offer?”

  Brows drawn. “Offer?”

  “To draw me.”

  Reed laughs. No, actually he snorts. “Don’t let her take advantage of you. She uses that artist crap to get men to take off their clothes all the time.”

  Slapping Reed’s chest, I know he’s teasing, and I know Jax knows he’s teasing too, yet I can’t stop the blush that creeps up my face showing my embarrassment. “Don’t pay attention to Reed, he’s still mad because I wouldn’t let him ask out the model the night we were sketching male nudes.”

  Jax smiles, he looks entertained by the banter between Reed and I, so different than the reaction we’d get from Caden. Caden was always jealous of my relationship with Reed, even though he knows nothing can ever happen.

  “We’re heading to my gallery showing in SoHo. Why don’t you come along…I think you’ll appreciate some of the paintings of naked women.” Reed offers with a wink.

  My eyes widen when I realize what he’s doing. Feeling panicky, I stumble over my own words. “Actually, it’s going to be packed as is. Reed over invited the guest list, as usual.”

  The disappointment is evident on Jax’s face, but he’s gracious nonetheless. “That’s okay. Another night maybe?”

  Shit. Now he thinks I’m trying to blow him off, back peddle away from Reed’s invitation because I don’t want him going.

  “I’m sorry. That didn’t come out right. I’d love for you to join us. It’s just…” I trail off, biting my bottom lip anxiously as I look for the right words.

  “She’s going to be buck ass naked,” Reed finishes the rest of my sentence. Not exactly how I was going to put it, but it does save me the trouble from having to say the words.

  Although confused by Reed’s statement, Jax gets there’s more to the story and he seems intrigued. “You’re getting naked at a gallery?” A hint of a grin on his ridiculously handsome face doesn’t make it any easier for me to explain.

  “I let Reed paint me,” quietly, I explain. “We painted each other.” Rethinking my choice of words, I clarify. “Not actually painting each other’s bodies, I mean painting on canvas,” I stumble nervously over my words. “It was our project for class. He’s included it as part of his show.”

  Jax arches a perfect brow, “So the gallery is displaying a painting of you in the nude?”

  “Yep, and her painting got a big fat A.” Reed answers before I can open my mouth to respond. “I think she’s planning on having me stand in front of it all night.”

  “And I think you’re only having the gallery showing so you had an excuse to invite Frederick,” I counter.

  “Frederick?” Jax inquires, trying to keep up.

  “The male nude, the one I wouldn’t let him ask out in class while we sketched.”

  Laughing, Jax shakes his head, “Sounds like you may have trouble getting him to stand in front of your painting if Frederick is walking around the gallery. But you two have fun. Another time, maybe?”

  I nod and watch as Jax happily shakes Reed’s hand. Just before he reaches for the door, my mouth utters words before my brain can override the decision. “Why don’t you come with us?”

  Turning back, he’s hesitant to accept my offer. Squinting to assess my sincerity, he a
sks, “You sure?”

  I nod and respond teasingly, “You’re bigger than Reed, you can block more of the painting.”

  He smiles and nods. “You got it.”

  Chapter 5

  Jax

  The gallery is packed when we enter, but a short woman dressed in all black with tattoo’s covering every inch of her exposed arms finds us immediately.

  “Lily! Oh my god, everyone is raving about your painting!” The woman hugs Lily, but I catch Lily’s face wilt at her words. Face tense, Lily bites down hard on her lower lip and tries to smile, wanting to share in her friend’s excitement¸ but it’s obvious she’s nervous.

  A man with a heavy French accent grabs Reed’s arm, grumbles a few words, and the two disappear as quickly as he came with a promise to return him as soon as he can.

  “You okay?” Leaning down, I whisper to Lily.

  “Does it show I’m not?”

  “Not too much,” I smile as I lie.

  Lily laughs, “I’m sorry. I just didn’t realize how difficult it would be for me when people see it. I see models all the time without clothes and it doesn’t bother me a bit. I see art, not a naked woman. Yet when it’s me, I’m totally freaked out that people are going to see me naked.”

  Stopping a waitress as she passes, I grab two crystal flutes and offer one to Lily. She declines. “You sure? Might help you calm your nerves.”

  “I’m sure.” A weak smile teases her lips. “Do I look as nervous as I feel?”

  “You look beautiful,” I tell her, and not because I want to calm her nerves and make her feel better. She just is. The carefully angled lighting in the gallery picks up the highlights in her wavy long blond hair, setting off a shimmer of gold that reflects off the green in her blue eyes. A few scarcely visible light freckles dot her perfect thin nose, leading down to full pink lips. Her gym attire is gone, traded in for a sexy electric blue dress that hugs her in all the right places. The hint of cleavage showing has me distracted as hell. If the painting is half as good as the real thing, it’s going to be a masterpiece.